Wellbeing Counselling

Anger is a very common emotion, felt by many. But when the anger moves past mild anger, it becomes an issue. There are a few types of anger, two common ones are, overwhelmed anger – when anger occurs due to life’s demands and chronic anger which impacts the immune system and can cause other mental disorders.

It is important to note that anger is a completely normal emotion to experience and feel, and one that should not be supressed. As suppressing anger does not make it go away, the anger will simply store and amplify into something more unmanageable. Anger like every emotion will pass and with coping mechanisms and techniques you can learn to be in control of your anger and other emotions and control it instead.

Anger, depression & anxiety are commonly linked and create a negative cycle. Learning to deal with anger, will help break the cycle and give you some space to deal with anxiety and or depression. The techniques of recognising anger and allowing it to pass can also be used for anxiety.

Healthy ways to respond to anger:

Keep a diary – monitor anger responses, finding what causes the anger can help you recognise when you may get upset in the future.

Plan alternatives – Role playing and imagining a situation that has made you angry in the past can also help you avoid getting angry in the future. Instead of greeting a loved one with a screaming voice when they are late, you can try imagining healthier ways to address the situation. You can take 10 and give yourself 10 minutes to cool down and let your stress hormones subside.

Breathe deeply – It is an amazing stress busting method. We tend to breathe shallow or hold our breath when angry, making you feel tenser. Just breathing is one of the best stress relievers.

Understanding Anger

Depression and anger can be linked, one third of depressed people have bouts of anger. Anger can be the match that sparks a dip in your mood, causing you to feel depressed. Part of your brain that normally keeps a lid on those angry feelings may be impaired when you’re depressed.

Anger is a tricky emotion, that is most likely trying to tell you something. The link between depression and anger may also be a consequence of feeling as if you have to struggle against every little thing just to get through the day.

The best thing to do when feeling angry is to give yourself space. Being angry is an emotion that will pass. There are ways to accept anger and let it pass.

Anger Journal Prompts:

1. What does anger look like to you?
2. What does it feel like?
3. Did you grow up being able to experience and express anger or did you have to repress it?
4. Are you able to express anger now? When? How? With whom?
5. Do you experience anxiety or depression before or after anger?

Are Your Habits Affecting Your Mood?

It is important to look at your lifestyle, do you use smoking, drinking, gambling, excessive screentime, procrastination as ways to numb, avoid and distract from big emotions?

Becoming aware of negative habits that are most likely hindering you is a great first step. Try to become aware of your diet, how often you move, your sleep and try and remedy this into something that serves you better.

Embarking on a lifestyle that serves you in terms of your wellbeing, will make it easier to deal with anger, and big emotions, as you will be more in control and aware of your triggers, emotions, attitude and reactions.

Remember a little stress is good for you, it helps with day-to-day motivation – but too much is not good for you.

Will what you’re stressing about matter as much tomorrow? In a week? a Month? a Year?